How To Care For Your Introvert Or Extrovert Child?

One loves shopping at the mall, going from store to store, seeing all of the displays, and engaging with other customers.

Another child avoids shopping and gets quickly frazzled, annoyed by the constant noise, overwhelmed by all of the choices, and frustrated by the crowds.

extroverts and introverts

For a mom, knowing about her child's temperament can be very helpful in understanding what kinds of activities and situations can best bring out natural talents and preferences, as well as what kinds of situations are difficult and sometimes draining.

Armed with this information, you can better understand why your child acts in particular ways as well as guide them towards successful pursuits. It is also helpful for mothers to understand their own temperament characteristics and to see how these fit in with or clash with their child's. 


Yes, there is a spectrum of temperaments. For the ease of understanding, we use the two terms more commonly, but this does not mean that either your child will be completely an introvert or an extrovert. 

personality continnum or spectrum; extrovert and introvert

Usually, its a combination of two in different ratios. Moreover, different circumstances can make us feel more one way or the other. 


Knowing you child's temperaments is also important to understand their learning style. Children process stimuli from their environment in ways that may be defined as introverted or extroverted. Depending on whether your child is bubbly and outgoing, or reserved and contemplative, he or she will favor different approaches to learning. To understand this distinction and support your child’s learning style, you need to observe his or her set of quirks and preferences.


This will help you at every step of your child's learning and growth. You can always use specific learning techniques for your child and make their learning curves sharper.


Extroverts get their energy from being around others. 

A day alone can leave them tired, moody and uncooperative. Extraverts outnumber introverts three to one. In general, your extraverted children will have lots of friends, be easy to talk to, have lots of energy, and be quick to tell you what they are thinking and feeling.


Your children are probably extroverts if they:

  • prefer people and things over ideas and images.

  • feel comfortable in groups and like to work in them.

  • have a wide variety of friends and acquaintances.

  • tend to jump into new activities quickly.

  • are described as “outgoing.”


Introverts get exhausted from social interaction.

It is not that they do not like other people or that they lack social skills, but rather that being with others leaves them drained. They need quiet time to refuel. This requirement for alone-time appears especially true after a long week of school, a trip to a crowded store, or a full day of parties.


If pushed beyond their tolerance, these children tend to work on “empty.” At that point it is more difficult for them to handle the ups and downs of everyday life; melt-downs, inflexibility or irritability are likely to occur.

In general, your introverted children will have a smaller group of close friends, need to reflect before they are ready to share their thoughts, will need time to be alone, and may have trouble sharing what they are feeling.

Your children are probably introverts if they:

  • prefer ideas and images over people and things.

  • feel comfortable being alone and like to work by themselves.

  • have a few close friends that they tend to know well.

  • tend to reflect and ponder before starting a new project.

  • are described as “introspective.


Your child's temperament comes from you. Yes! It's in the genes. 

All this is linked to DOPAMINE, a chemical that controls reward, learning and responses to novelty. 

Different stimuli and situations induce the release of dopamine in different people, and this depends on our genes.






Introverts will want to work alone and so they will be most comfortable doing such tasks as:

  • Sorting laundry

  • Caring for plants

  • Dusting

Extroverts will want to interact with other people and so they will be happiest with chores such as:

  • Assisting you in completing a task

  • Working with a sibling

  • Making phone calls


Introverts may find the same day absolutely draining for the opposite reasons. A day of having students in their personal space and a potentially noisy bus ride home can leave them needing quiet time, rather than activities, before they can begin their homework. Sometimes a walk around the block or swinging on the swings or a little TV can give these children the break they require before they sit down to do homework.

Extroverts may come home from a full day of school too drained to do work. They may need to talk to friends or play or retell their day to you before they are ready and able to complete their homework.



Introverts may become exhausted very quickly. You can plan for success by breaking a larger outing into several smaller outings. If this plan is not feasible, you can also build in little breaks where you could rest and relax, sit by a fountain and listen to the water or find a quiet seat to have a snack and “refuel” both physically and emotionally.

Extroverts may love the excitement of the outing. You may need to let them know beforehand how long the trip will last as they will become more energized as the excursion continues.

These simple tips can help with your child's positive growth.

But before applying these in your life, I want you to do one thing-

"Accept the child you have, because personality is what they are born with and forcing them to change is the last thing they need."



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