And the overwhelming feeling that I’m a bad mom…
When our babies cry, this is what we parents feel.
Especially new mothers.
And they aren’t always easy to soothe, are they?
When it becomes difficult to calm your baby down, your nerves get worn out, your sleep is ruined and everything just becomes much harder to deal with.
When just they cry too much, it is perfectly normal for you to question yourself, doubt whether you are even a good mother at all for your baby.
You may even get close to losing trust in yourself as a parent.
Let’s make two things clear right at the beginning -
There is nothing wrong with your baby’s crying.
And you are not a bad mom.
In fact, it is absolutely essential for your baby to cry as it is the only way for it to communicate its needs with you.
Generally babies cry up to three hours a day in the first twelve weeks of their life. And one in every ten babies cries even longer than that!
Yes, you got that right.
Three hours spent only crying (and for most of the rest of the day, they sleep.)😊
There are also the so-called “normal” hectic periods during the day when babies have the most of their crying done, very common between 6 pm and midnight.
Even though babies cry for a long period of time, it does not always mean that there is something wrong with them. There are several reasons why babies cry, but we can decode them together.
Once you learn a few patterns and techniques your life with your newborn baby will get even more beautiful.
Most common situations causing your baby to cry
When your baby cries for more than 3 hours a day and up to 3 days or more a week, it is most probably because it has a colic.
Now you can imagine the state of a baby with stomach soreness. Most of the time, it will be disturbed, anxious and very hard to calm down.
Colic is only one of the reasons why your baby can cry. It will go away usually around the fourth month. But I still recommend taking your physician’s suggestions in this kind of situation.
The Ordinary Cry
It is ordinary for your baby to cry in situations where:
- its normal schedule has been disrupted
- or it feels overstimulated
- or its feeding time has arrived.
If the crying is not caused by hunger, try hugging, swaddling and walking around rocking your baby to see if any of these can soothe her crying.
The good old vacuum cleaner or a fan noise technique can relax the baby wonderfully.
Why do these kinds of sounds work?
These are called White Noise. Such noises resemble the sounds that the baby heard in the womb, which has a calming effect on them. It also masks other distracting noises so that your baby can fall asleep and remain sleeping.
The Abrupt Hunger Cry
New born babies need to be fed very frequently. Their stomach is very small and can't contain too much food at once.
The most common reason for a baby's night time crying is hunger. You must follow your baby’s feeding pattern. Map it out. This will help you both avoid the distress caused by lack of nourishment. Once you know when your baby will get hungry, it will be easier to identify if hunger is the reason behind its crying.
Generally, if your newborn is crying two to three hours from the last meal, it means it needs immediate food.
Babies signal you when they need food before starting to cry by smacking their lips or sucking at their fist. Pay attention to these details.
The Discomfort Cry
Your baby can get into a state of crying caused by wet diapers, too hot or too cold temperature, or any other external factor. Check all the possibilities to reduce distress factors.
If the main cause is hunger, the baby will be easily over excited when food arrives.
It will not calm down right away, which means it will be breathing fast and swallowing air with milk. This will result in gas in her tummy and further endless crying. With the stomach disturbed due to this, the baby will have a hard time falling back asleep.
You can avoid this situation by feeding your baby little earlier than her usual feeding time.
During feeding you can stop for a round of burping, and continue after feeding this will help the gas build up.
When you have done everything (feeding, burping, diapering, all the swaddling and rocking and loving) but your baby is still crying
Check out these methods:
Burrito Wrapping Technique:
The best way to induce relaxation when swinging your baby is to stop her arms and legs from hanging around and wrap her with a soft blanket just like a burrito.
Make the wrap tight enough so that your baby’s legs are secured but not too tight, to avoid a condition called hip dysplasia.
Be careful to choose your blanket according to the weather conditions. If you are in an area where there is high heat, make sure your baby won’t overheat.
Wrap your baby around your body:
It is known that babies who spend a long time in contact with another body tend to cry less, feel more secure and relaxed.
Your baby will love the warmth of your body, your breathing and heartbeat and as well as the movements you will make.
You can use special wrapping blankets that will allow you to have your hands free. Make sure not to cover your baby’s face, and her mouth and nose are visible, to ensure its proper and clear breathing pathway.
Another beautiful practice to lean your baby against your bare chest or the chest of your partner, this will instantly help to calm it.
As we know all babies are different but it is also said that a warm bath can do wonders for some babies, it's sure worth a try.
The noise therapy:
Not only the vacuum cleaner sound can help but a quiet meditative noise, the sound of the shower or the ocean could help make your baby feel good.
An interesting way to mimic the sound from inside the womb is to wispear shushing sound in your baby’s ears.
Keep in mind that no matter the sound you are using, the most important is to keep it low to avoid damaging your baby’s hearing.
Get on the road: If you did all the singing, dancing, walking, take your baby for a car ride.
Pacifiers: Pacifiers are an excellent assistant when your baby is nursed but still is restless. The sucking will relax it and provide comfort.
Take a deep breath: If you feel like you have done it all and your baby is still crying, ask for help either from your partner or anyone trustworthy close by.
Reset your nerves, take a few minutes in a quiet place, go for a walk, take a shower or a nap with the help of this amazing Hot and Cold Gel Eye Mask.
This eye mask is designed for your comfort and relaxation, you can either heat it in the microwave or use them as a cold therapy after cooling it in the freezer.
Using it either hot or cold it will help you relieve any discomfort or pain such as sinuses,
puffy eyes, dark circles, allergic conjunctions, headaches or inflammations.
If you cannot help your baby’s crying with the above mentioned, reach out to your healthcare provider to assure there are no underlying health issues that need to be addressed.
Don’t feel discouraged, you are doing the best you can!